First, we're sorry.
Most of this site is shaped for active care planning, which is the wrong shape right now. The few things below are the ones caregivers tell us they wish someone had told them in the first weeks. None of them are urgent. Take what helps. Skip what doesn't.
This week
If hospice was involved, call the hospice agency and ask what bereavement support is available now. That benefit can last 13 months.
Can wait
Most paperwork can wait 60 to 90 days. Do not close accounts or cancel services until you know which ones matter.
Support
If the grief still feels like week two after several months, look for prolonged-grief or caregiver-bereavement support. It is a known clinical pattern.
You are not the only one walking this road
EvergreenHealth Hospice grief support, King County
statewide · in person
Bereavement program from EvergreenHealth Hospice. Monthly workshop, 6-week mindfulness series, and 6-week creative grief group. Open to anyone within 13 months of a loss, you don't need to have used the agency.
What to expect
Drop-in style for the workshop. Cohort format for the 6-week series. People share when ready. Facilitator is often a hospice chaplain or social worker.
“I lost my wife to this dreaded disease, and I cannot stop the tears.”
More detail when you want it
Hospice bereavement benefit
Medicare hospice covers bereavement services for surviving family for 13 months after the death. Most families never use it. Call the hospice agency and ask what their bereavement program offers, including support groups, individual counseling, retreats, or a library.
Complicated grief and caregiver-bereavement
Prolonged grief disorder is recognized clinically and has specific therapies. Caregiver-bereavement can also feel different from generic spouse or family grief because it includes the years spent caregiving.
Search for complicated grief therapy, prolonged grief therapy, or caregiver bereavement. The Center for Complicated Grief directory is at complicatedgrief.columbia.edu, and Alzheimer's Association support groups are at alz.org.
If you're second-guessing end-of-life medication
Hospice nurses are usually the right first voice for this. They can walk through what comfort-care dosing was meant to do and whether what you saw matched normal protocols.
The Alzheimer's Association 24/7 helpline at 1-800-272-3900 also has care consultants who field these calls.
Practical aftermath
Most paperwork can wait 60 to 90 days. Do not cancel anything in the first week unless it is costing money.
- Order 8 to 10 death-certificate copies through the funeral home or county registrar.
- Confirm Social Security was notified. Survivor benefits can take 30 to 60 days.
- If they were a veteran, a county Veterans Service Officer can file burial-benefit paperwork free.
- Ask an elder-law or probate attorney before closing accounts.
- Notify the three credit bureaus to flag the account as deceased.
If you were there when they died
The home-death or bedside-death experience may need its own conversation, separate from the longer grief. Hospice bereavement support or a therapist can be more useful when you name that experience directly.
When you're ready
If at some point you want to think about your own future, the same paperwork that mattered for the person you lost (durable power of attorney, healthcare directive, POLST, advance care planning) probably matters for you too. The self-planning track walks through what to set up while you have capacity to decide. No rush.
What did you think of these results?
These pointers are paraphrased from caregivers who have been through the first months on r/hospice, r/AgingParents, ALZConnected, and AARP. They are not legal or medical advice.